Secrets
by Fluffy Tranquil
Summary: Fitz was mad at Eli for getting arrested after Vegas Night, so he plans something with Owen to get back at Eli. Involves Clare! Set after the new semester starts, but was written before it was aired, so the plot is not like in the show. M!
1. Chapter 1

**So, the song is called "Born in The Spring". And, like every song in my newest stories, it's by Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers. And what do you do, you go listen to it on their myspace! Lol =]…**

_1,2,3_

_2,2,3_

_They were lovely red flowers lining the tress_

_And they smelled like perfume on the hand of a queen_

_The car read "Just Married" on the back window_

_The future was open, how could we ever have known?_

_From South San Diego to Portland, Maine_

_I have traveled this country, seeking my fame_

_And through all the "what for's", the flames and trap doors_

_Through which all of us fell, the stories that I cannot tell_

_And I wish that I_

_Now the ocean tide's coming up with the moon_

_I'm afraid we're all living at sea level, too_

_And you're seeing this part of the tragedy through_

_When the bottle will break, the cradle will fall down on you_

_A second rate author of his own epitaph_

_All the potent potential destroyed in the graph_

_You think to yourself, "I'll get lucky at cards"_

_But you don't even know who the hell that you are_

_And I, still I wish that I was_

_Born in the Spring_

_Son of a son of a son of bitch_

'_Cause the daughter's are dammed, that's the way that it is_

_And nothing much changes out in the sun_

_When the wine that you drink is the wind you become_

_Oh, and you say, "Maybe this time, I can dig out of this."_

_So the family relents and you get yourself pissed_

_And suddenly everyone has got some advice_

_You sell their suggestions without thinking twice_

_And the friends that I've had and the friends that I've made_

_The friends that I've lost with my hapless mistakes_

_And isn't it all just a slap in the face_

_That no single person could take up the place of her?_

_Still, I wish that I was_

_Born in the Spring_

_Born it the Spring_

'_Cause everyone's gone, well all die don't you know?_

_Are you so disappointed that it all was a show?_

_And the first love you had was the only thing real_

_And what brought it together, in the end was the kill?_

_And I, still I wish that I was_

_Born in the Spring

* * *

_

It was her fifth day with Owen. And Bruce. And Johnny… She was just as horrified as she had been the first day. She never should have chose to believe Owen, but Eli was involved…

She was waiting for Eli by his locker after school, when she got an anonymous text: _Eli's standing awfully close to the edge, maybe he's going to jump… It seems like he's got a lot on his mind._

As soon as the words were in her mind, she looked for one of the multiple entrances to the roof.

"Shit!" She muttered, one of the first times she'd ever cursed. But that was besides the point right now. The door was locked, and if she didn't hurry up, it could be too late. She picked up her speed, her feet carrying her as fast as she could go. She just wished that she could save him in time… But why was he doing this?

She found an open stairwell, taking the steps two at a time, and almost tripping. She was prepared to see Eli at the edge of the roof; about to jump; being too late. But he wasn't there, just Owen. She looked over the side of the building, just to be sure.

"Did you convince him to not do it, or something?" She asked.

He nodded, and she felt like hugging him. "Yeah, he was having some troubles. I told him that killing himself wouldn't help."

She threw her arms around his waist. "Thank-you." He hugged her back. But, she wasn't expecting what was coming next…

"Where did he go then?"

"To look for you, I guess. Maybe he just decided to go home. We could always check the parking lot." He suggested.

Clare nodded, and they headed down to the parking lot. His hearse was no where in sight. When she least expected it, Owen grabbed her and forced her into the back of his car. She knew that Owen was bad, but she didn't know that he was this cruel. Why did he want to kidnap _her_?

She tried to unlock the door, no luck. The windows wouldn't budge either. Stupid child locks! He had thought of everything.

"What are you d-"

"Don't talk!" He shouted.

"But w-"

"Because I said so!" His voice got louder, more fierce.

Her mouth snapped shut, and she didn't say one more word for the entirety of the ride. When they got to his apartment, he forcefully brought her up several sets of steps. He opened the door, dragging her inside. Johnny and Bruce were sitting on the couch. _Oh shit_. She was going to get raped, she knew it for sure…

* * *

But they didn't do anything to her. She sat in her place at the end of the couch, not doing anything, while the guys watched tv, played video games, talked about girls, etc. It was even scarier when Owen left for school. It would seem odd if he had missed just as much time as she had. Johnny and Bruce never said anything to her, and it seemed creepy because Owen, their "Master", wasn't there to rule over them and make choices for them.

Clare wished that she could call someone, especially Eli, to let him know that she was okay. That they hadn't done anything to her. And that she loved him. But they confiscated her phone when they found out she had one with her in the first place.

She thought that she would never see her friends and family again, but why would Owen want to hold her hostage for that long? She knew that her mother was worried; there was a missing persons report for her on tv. She wanted to let her parents know that she was fine (for now, at least.) She only hoped that Eli, her parents, and her friends would comfort each other and not have any "what if" thoughts.

* * *

Eli sat at the Edwards' dining room table. He had been coming by everyday, and didn't leave until his parents had to force him to come home. He wanted to have some hope that Clare would be coming home. But he knew that missing children were rarely found, alive…at least until much later.

* * *

Several days had gone by without any successful attempts at trying to escape. She had been stuck there for about 9 days now, the memory of day 7 haunting her…

_She tried once more to escape, only her millionth try. Bruce heard her footsteps, due to the squeaky floorboards, and he held her back. She felt completely violated, and not just because some gross, greasy, stinky guy was holding onto her. He brought her over to the couch, holding her down for Owen. Owen then proceeded to force himself upon her. He was whispering to her the whole time, bragging about being her first, but Eli had already accomplished that task. He had been much gentler, kinder, and sweeter than Owen could ever be._

Clare finally realized that she had the only key to getting out: Johnny.

Owen and Bruce were sleeping, and Johnny was still up, serving as the watch guard.

"You know…Alli would be really mad if she found out that you were apart of this."

"I know." He looked down at his hands. "But they'd kill me. Especially Owen."

"But you know what Owen did to me. …You could just pretend to be asleep. Then, at the worst, all you have to deal with is Bruce. I highly doubt Owen remembers whose turn it was to watch me. Just tell him it was Bruce, and you'll be okay."

"Fine." She and Johnny stood up and tiptoed to the door.

"My phone." She whispered, and he grabbed it off of the coffee table, before handing it to her.

"Thank-you." She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Do you need a ride somewhere? I have Owen's keys." He held up the shiny, vital importance for getting her away from this place. "And I can drive you there and get back here before either of them even notice."

"No, it's fine."

"But it's 11:00. There are weirdoes out." He actually seemed sympathetic.

"I'll be fine. I promise. You'll know; it'll be on the news and in the papers by Monday morning that I'm okay."

* * *

"Drew! Drew, stop the car!" Clare would know that voice anywhere. Drew was driving his mother's minivan, probably going to a party or something, since it _was_ Friday. Alli jumped out of the car, forgetting to unbuckle herself, resulting in her getting choked by the seatbelt. She hugged Clare. "Clare! I'm _so_ glad you're back! What happened to you?"

"I'll tell you later." She whispered.

"Ok. Come on, we'll take you home." Alli got back into the car. Clare glanced inside of the van. Adam and Jenna were sitting it the middle section, and Sav and Holly J sat in the back. No Eli, but she suspected that he was still too depressed to even leave his house or her kitchen. She got in and sat in the back next to Sav.

"What happened to you Clare?" Adam asked.

"She doesn't want to talk about it." Alli said for her, receiving a smile from Clare.

Sav hugged Clare, which made her a little surprised. Of course she was best friends with his little sister, but the had never really been this close before. But he had a little sister, so he wouldn't want anything to happen to her, or any of her friends for that matter.

"Oh." Adam said. "Well, I'm guessing we should get you home. Or at least to Eli's first, so he knows that you're okay."

"Yeah." She nodded. "And, Alli, could you come over?"

"Sure, Clare. I'll have Drew drop me off in a little while."

"Good."

* * *

They arrived at Eli's house shortly after. Adam threw a few stones at Eli's window. Clare was hiding, so they could surprise him. After pleading, Eli came down, dressed in boxers and a matching red flannel shirt.

"Clare?" He rubbed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her in a death grip.

"Oww."

"Sorry." He loosened his hold, but it was still strong. He kissed her forehead. "I was _so_ worried about you. What happened?"

"I-I d-don't know. I was knocked out and blindfolded. I-"

"You were beaten? That mother fu-"

"No, no, no. I was… pepper-sprayed."

"Clare, it doesn't make a difference. You could have been ra-" He stopped talking, not wanting to make himself even angrier with all the possibilities.

She thought back to when Owen had her on the couch. She felt very awkward, especially since Bruce and Johnny were watching. Bruce was enjoying himself, while Johnny was trying to look away.

She shuddered.

"Is something wrong?" Eli held her very close to his body.

"No. It's just that…"

"I was about to say raped?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry I made you scared." He kissed her again. "I think I should drive you home. You're mom has been worried sick about you."

"What about my dad? Did he stop by?" She asked.

"Yeah, a few times. He didn't stay for long, though."

"Oh."

"So… I should get some pants on, it's cold out here." She said that she would wait outside for him, but since it was late, he insisted that she come into the house with him. He grabbed her hand, and they headed up to his room. After putting a pair of jeans on, he left his mom a note, saying that if he didn't come home, he was at Clare's.

* * *

"Clare!" Mrs. Edwards pulled her daughter into her arms. "Come inside, honey."

They all sat down at the kitchen table. Eli told her mother what Clare had told him, while Clare changed her clothes and took a shower.

Clare came back downstairs. She decided to ask her mom if Alli could come over, although she realized that she could probably get away with anything now, since she had just been put into a terrifying situation.

"Mom, can Alli come over?"

"Of course, dear. You can stay, too, Eli."

He nodded. "Thanks, Mrs. Edwards." He headed up to Clare's room, while she called Alli to let her know that she could come over now.

After Alli arrived, they all just hung out, trying to get the week's events out of their minds. It was getting really late when Eli rested his head in Clare's lap, a definite sign that he was tired. He ended up falling asleep right away.

Clare ran her hands through his hair while she and Alli continued to talk.

"So, tell me what happened." She whispered, knowing that Clare wouldn't want Eli to know the truth of the situation. "Spill. I know that the whole thing was a complete lie."

"Okay. I got a text saying that Eli was trying to jump off of the roof. But he wasn't there, though. Owen was. We went down to the parking lot to find Eli, but he forced me into his car and brought me back to his apartment. Bruce and Johnny were there."

"Johnny? Why Johnny?"

Clare shrugged. "I don't know why, but I convinced him to let me go. I had to bring you into it, so I told him that you would be angry if he wouldn't let me go."

"You bet I would… Did anything else happen?"

She nodded. "Owen… he, h-he r-raped me."

Alli threw her arms around her best friend, despite the sleeping boy in Clare's lap. "Oh, Clare. I'm so sorry that this happened to you."

"Thank-you, Alli."

"Clare." Alli groaned. "That isn't what you told Eli, was it?"

She nodded. "That would be correct."

"But he'll find out sooner or later." She assured her.

"He can't!"

"But he will. And he'll _kill_ Owen, literally." She said. "And now Eli can't be your first. You were saving it for him."

Clare bit her lip.

"Clare!"

"What?"

"You're still wearing your purity ring?" Alli asked.

She nodded. "Mhmm."

"Why, though? If it isn't the truth?"

"I don't want my mom to find out. She'll give me some ridiculous lecture."

"I'm just shocked that you had sex. I thought you'd basically stay a virgin forever."

"I still technically consider myself a virgin."

"How?"

"Well, it was only one time, and he was really nice. Plus, it was really romantic. And we decided that we weren't going to do it again until we're married."

"Oh… So, he didn't make you feel uncomfortable? If he did, I'll kick him in the balls right now."

"Of course not."

"Good. So, he wasn't a virgin, right?"

"No, he wasn't." She said.

"You don't feel bad that he's slept with other girls before?"

"No. Because it was just one."

"Oh…"

"At least you didn't ask how b-"

"You know me all too well, Clare. So, how big?"

"I hope you know that you are one _very_ perverted person, Alli."

"Aww, come on. I wanna know!"

"Alli, that is none of your business."

Alli pouted.

"Sorry, not going to work. If you want to know, you can ask him yourself."

"Clare! No way! That is obsessive. And he'd think that I'm weird."

"Hey, you wanted to know. I don't kiss and tell."

"Well, of course you don't. That was _way_ more than kissing."

Clare giggled, blushing.

"So how was he?"

"Good."

"_How_ good?"

"Really good."

"Mhmm, maybe that explains why he's _oh-so-_experienced." She laughed along with her friend, trying to keep her mind off of the "Owen thing."

* * *

**I literally hate myself for writing this, but hey it's happening in my head. My sister and I thought it up a few weeks ago because of the promo (when Eli says I cant believe this, and when Clare says stop it!)**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know that it doesn't seem like Clare had much of a reaction to the whole ordeal, but I kind of rushed the chapter and forgot to add it in, Sorry… But, she does try to hid it well…**

**I don't think I used this song yet: "See Yourself" by Stephen Kellogg and The Sixers. Only found on their myspace or youtube.

* * *

**

_Girl, you know you got my sympathy_

_You destroy yourself so easily_

_Words that start like mandolin refrains_

_Ended up like bagpipe hurricanes_

_But it's alright, it's gonna hurt sometimes_

_Everybody bleeds, even when the sun shines_

_You've got to see yourself like I do_

_See yourself from my point of view_

_No one else can get through_

_Until you see yourself like somebody that loves you_

_You can bang your head against the wall, yeah_

_You can build a wall around your head_

_No one ever needs to know you're scared_

_The darkness sometimes lets the light shine in_

_But it's alright, it's gonna hurt sometimes_

_Everybody bleeds, even when the sun shines_

_You've got to see yourself like I do_

_See yourself from my point of view_

_No one else can get through_

_Until you see yourself like somebody that loves you_

_And even if your heart gets broken, and it will_

_Imagine if you never spoke, and how that would feel_

_And every time you're tempted to retreat_

_Remember you are loved by no one more than me_

_And you can use my eyes if you need them to see, yeah_

_Girl, you know you're so hard on yourself_

_Remember you can lean on someone else_

_But it's alright, it's gonna hurt sometimes_

_Everybody bleeds, even when the sun shines_

_You've got to see yourself like I do_

_See yourself from my point of view_

_No one else can get through_

_Until you see yourself like somebody that loves you _

_Like somebody that loves you…

* * *

_

Clare stayed home all weekend. Alli and Eli basically _lived_ there from then on.

Clare wanted to go back to school; it would help her get over everything that happened. Staying home would remind her of why she wasn't at school, and Owen probably wasn't going back. At least not yet… And she had to deal with him sooner or later. She was only good at hiding it, but that didn't mean she didn't feel it…

Her mom insisted that she stay home and be home schooled, since it was too dangerous to let her stay at school, especially since that was where she got kidnapped. But, Clare said that she would be fine. Her mother finally gave in after days of discussion, because it would make her daughter happy.

She returned to school on Wednesday morning, but instead of taking the bus like she usually did, her mother drove her.

Eli was at her house early that morning, because he wanted to be with Clare at all times when she was outside of her house, just to ensure her safety. He got a ride with her and her mom, as did Alli.

Luckily, Eli and Clare had English as their first period, so he wouldn't have to say goodbye to her yet. Before heading to Ms. Dawes' classroom, they went to the main office. Clare's mother had arranged for one of the guidance counselors at the school to accompany Clare to and from classes.

As soon as the three of them reached the classroom, people started surrounding Clare, giving her hugs and asking her what had happened to her. Ms. Dawes made an announcement, and asked all of the students to go back to their desks and to stop bothering Clare. Eli knew that she felt awkward being the center of attention. But it only grew as the day went on, starting with the morning announcements. Principal Simpson had made a statement, notifying the unknown students and staff that Clare was in fact back at Degrassi. But, he too told the students not to obsess and bother Clare.

* * *

By the end of the day, she'd received a few stuffed animals, which were only a reminder of the previous week…

She crammed the stuffed animals into her book bag, and then she shut her locker. Eli arrived soon afterwards. "Hey. How did your day go?"

"Fine." She said. "Everyone just…stared. But, at least I didn't have to explain the story a million times…"

"I'm just glad that you're okay." He hugged her. He had touched an area on her back in a similar way that reminded her of Owen. She knew it was not intentional, because he knew nothing about it, but it still made her feel uncomfortable. She gasped lightly. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

She shook her head. "No. I just need to go to the bathroom."

"I'll come with you." He offered, not wanting to have her out of his sight.

"No. I'll be fine. My mom is outside, and she'll be worried if we're not out there. …Go, I'll just be a few minutes."

He nodded, although he didn't want to leave her alone. He grabbed her backpack for her, and headed out the school's front door.

Okay, she lied. She didn't have to go to the bathroom…technically. She ran inside, went into one of the stalls, and slammed the door shut. She locked the door, and sank to the ground, beginning to cry…Why was this happening to her? She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't ask for Owen to come kidnap her and …r-rape her…Why would he want to, anyway?

Well over a few minutes had passed by the time she stood up. She unlocked the door, walked over to the sink, and slashed some cold water onto her face. As she was walking out of the girls' bathroom, she saw Owen in her peripheral vision. He didn't notice her. At least, she hoped that he didn't…

* * *

**Review! And, this chapter was rushed too. I wanted to get at least another chapter out before midterms. I'll update maybe Thursday or Friday. …Or possibly tomorrow for certain stories, if I get a good idea by then… Wish me luck on midterms!**

**~Codie**


	3. Chapter 3

For that entire week, Clare had to be accompanied by a guidance counselor. It was an invasion of privacy, but she was just in it for Clare's best interest. It took a lot of pleading, but she eventually convinced her mother and Mr. Simpson to agree with her and let her go to class alone.

Weeks had gone by before things started going back to normal. Or, what everyone else saw as normal. To her, everything was still the same. The same, but much worse. One day when she was walking to Ms. Dawes' class, the pain in her stomach, which she assumed was just cramps, worsened. She had some Advil in her purse, because she thought she might need it after her headache last night. After taking one, she splashed some water on her face, trying to calm down.

Clare glanced at her watch. English had only begun a few minutes ago, but she didn't want to miss anything. …Okay, she didn't really care. After what she'd been through, it didn't matter. She just didn't want to worry Eli. He had seen her this morning, so if she was not in English, people would assume the worst. She was thinking of just staying in here, but decided against it. As she was getting up, she felt something sneaking up on her. She quickly ran to the toilet, leaning over it, and proceeding to throw up into it. She hadn't eaten breakfast, but she wasn't that hungry either. Maybe it was just because you could sometimes become light-headed when you had your period. Or was it because she'd had a big dinner last night? Darcy had come home to visit and Clare being "in danger" likely had something to do with her sudden return. Throughout dinner, she was dying to ask what had really happened to Clare, but instead filled the conversation with stories of her time in Kenya.

Clare slumped down to the tiled floor of the bathroom, leaning against the stall door. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. _What, enough hasn't already happened to me?_

* * *

By the time 6th period had come, she'd thrown up again. Not eating lunch was definitely out of the question, seeing as Eli or Adam would suspect something. As for their questions on her not being in English, she just said that she had to meet with another teacher. When seventh period came, she started feeling a little better. But she still wasn't fooling Alli. She could tell that Clare was thinking about something other than the notes up on the board. She wouldn't ask now, but she sure would as soon as they were at her house studying after school.

After a little bit of studying, they decided to watch a movie.

When the first commercial came on, Alli took it upon herself to find out what was up with Clare.

"Clare, you've been acting a little weird lately."

"I have?" She asked.

Alli nodded. "Yeah, you have. Adam told me that you missed English, and that you were acting strange during lunch."

"Acting weird how?"

Alli shrugged. "He just said that you were acting …sort of different. …Are things okay with you and Eli?"

Clare nodded. "Yeah, things are fine. Why wouldn't they be?"

"Just wondering…I know you told me, but have you two been sexually active lately?"

Clare shook her head. "Why would we be? I told you that we were waiting."

Alli bit her lip.

"No. No, you think I'm pregnant, don't you?"

"Maybe a test wouldn't hurt." She admitted.

"Isn't it too early? …We should search it. Can I use your computer?"

"Yeah. I'll go use Sav's computer. That way we'll cover the web in double time."

"Sav isn't home?"

"No. He's with Holly-J, and my parents won't be home until around ten."

"Good..Just make sure you delete the history. He'd tell your parents if he saw anything suspicious."

"I'll be sure to." Alli left the room and Clare began her search. She opened up a web browser and typed in 'How early can I take a pregnancy test?' After skimming the results, there were multiple different answers.

Before she could type in a new search, she heard Alli call, "I found something!"

Clare headed down the hall to Sav's room, surprised by the clutter. Sav seemed like the type to have a neat room. She stepped over a pile of clothes, and made her way over to the computer.

She glanced at the screen when Alli pointed and began to read aloud. "It says right here that you can test positive on a home pregnancy test starting at at least 15 days after implantation. It's been, what, at least a month, right?"

Clare nodded.

"Then let's go. Just let me delete the history really quick."

* * *

There was a convenience store around the corner. As soon as the two girls walked into the store, they headed toward the back of the store.

Alli turned to Clare. "Do you want to do it in the bathroom here, or back at my house?"

"Your house. This is too personal to be out in public."

"Do you want me to get it for you? I know that your parents know a lot of people around town."

"Thanks, Alli. …I'm kinda glad you made me do this."

Alli gave her a small smile, before taking the pregnancy test up to the counter at the front of the store. Clare decided to browse the store while Alli was completing the task Clare was too nervous and afraid to do. She walked into the next aisle, but walked out just as quickly as she walked in. She continued to walk toward the front of the store, and then outside.

"Clare!" Alli ran out a few seconds later. "Clare, stop!"

Clare stopped walking and sat down on the sidewalk outside.

"Clare, what's wrong?"

"The diaper aisle. I just, I… And there was a mother in there, with two other kids. I...it made me think of what being a mom would be like, and it seemed a little hard. I mean, I didn't see a father there, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there isn't one in the picture."

"I'm sure that Eli won't leave you. I mean, he might be _shocked _at first, so don't take that into account of him not wanting this. He'll just need some…time…to" Her speaking slowed down, until it came to a stop. She pursed her lips. "C-clare, did you and Eli use a condom?"

"I'm not sure. Why?"

"Well, I know that you can still get pregnant, but if you used one and it didn't break, then maybe Eli isn't the one becoming a father."

"No. No, I mean, Eli and Owen both would have known better. _Especially_ Owen. It has to be Eli's. It just has to."

Alli took a deep breath. "Okay, maybe we should just calm down. You didn't even take the test yet. It's possible that all of this is just stress."

"Alli, I haven't gotten my period, I threw up, and I've been a little tired. It's not like it's the flu."

"Hey, it's still possible. So don't outlaw it just yet."

"Alli." Clare breathed. "I know you're my best friend, but you don't have to play it off. You think I'm pregnant, and so do I. I guess all we can really do is just go back to your house and figure out once and for all."

Clare stood up, and Alli linked arms with her. "What if Sav's home?"

"We'll do it in your bathroom. It's not like your parents are going to go through your trash or something."

Alli sighed as they continued their walk home.

* * *

"Having any trouble in there?" Alli called to Clare.

"No." Clare responded. Not more than a minute later, she came out of the bathroom.

"Is it ready yet?"

Clare shook her head. "No. I just hope I didn't do it wrong."

"I don't really think you can. Just...wait for a few minutes, and then I guess you can look."

Clare sat down on Alli's bed, waiting for her clock to read 5:34. As soon as she saw the time change to 5:33, she counted down the seconds, though it seemed like she'd gotten to 60 nearly 3 times.

"Clare, do you want me to go look for you?" Alli asked.

Clare shook her head. "No. I should look for myself." She stood up from the bed and prepared for her life-changing event. The walk to the bathroom was not even 15 feet, but it seemed like she was on a never-ending road. As she stepped into the bathroom, she saw the white top of the sink come into view.

_Okay, just a few more feet… Just a little more…_


End file.
